[I]f all Christians should serve one another, how can a man serve his wife and exercise authority over her at the same time?[i] Hierarchical theologers tell us a husband serves his wife as a servant leader. But what exactly does a servant leader do? A servant leader serves by leading, we are told by these same theologers. But this begs the question, should all leaders in the church serve by leading, or is this something that is restricted to married men? Peter the Apostle, for example, tells us in his first letter that a leader in the church is a person who leads by setting an example of servanthood instead of lording it over the flock. In other words, leaders in the church lead by serving. If overseers served the laity by leading, everyone would have to strive to become a leader, for leading would be the example given for everyone to imitate.[ii] With this insight the questions keep on multiplying, for if an overseer leads by serving, and if leaders in the church should not be lords in the house of God, why should a husband serve by leading, and be a lord in his own house? [iii] Is it possible that God gave husbands more authority than anyone else in the church? (Genesis 3: The Origin of Gender Roles, Chapter 5)
The picture Peter paints before us in 1 Peter 5:1-5 is a shepherd leading the sheep to a better pastures. The sheep follow the shepherd because they know he will feed them. Feeding someone has nothing to do with authority; it has to do with love.
Overseers in the church are called pastors because of the Latin word pastor, which means shepherd. Peter refers to Jesus as the Chief Shepherd (Greek, archipoimen), and he advices his fellow shepherds to abstain from lording over the flock (Greek, katakurieuo), the very same word Jesus used in Matt 20:24-28:
"When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers. Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them (katakurieuo), and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (NIV)
Now, this idea of giving one's life as a ransom instead of being a lord is also echoed in John 10:11-18, where Jesus calls himself a good shepherd:
"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me- just as the Father knows me and I know the Father-and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life-only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father." (NIV)
If the model for overseers is the shepherd who serves the sheep and willingly gives his life, why is the model for husbands a lord who commands his wife?
Is Christ divided?
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